BIG News!!!

Friends, we did it!!! Remember how I shared last week that I was inches away from a goal I’ve been running after for the past year? We reached it! Not only reached it, but surpassed it!

THANK YOU to everyone who has trusted me with getting started with their YL discount. Thank you for giving me the honor of teaching you and sharing life with you. This business is one of my all time favorite things —because of YOU. I love the products, I love the passion, but mostly I love the PEOPLE I get to serve, love on, teach. I’m honored to lead a team of women running the race with me making this their full time gig, while we watch these oils + products change the lives of people we love. What happens when you get a bunch of women together who run after the dreams in their heart? ANYTHING can happen with those type of women!

Humbled. Honored. Bawling.

The past few days I have just been basking in the victory. Dancing in my kitchen. Going to dinner to celebrate! What I love is this is just the beginning. I’ve got a team full of rockstar women who want this, too. They want to stay home with their babes and not miss a moment. They want to be able to travel without worrying about vacation days. They want to be able to go to the grocery store and purchase nutritious meals for their family without worrying if their account is going to bounce. I know the reality, sis. I know what it’s like to lack and to have plenty.

And I want you to know, you are always, alway welcome here.

For those of you who are like… “Eh, what’s Silver mean?” Basically, it’s big promotion. To put it into perspective, I am now making more than I did owning the coffee shop (and always having 1-2 other side jobs). I don’t say this to brag, I say this to #keepitreal and to literally show you that YOU CAN DO THIS TOO. You can, really! Check out the full income disclosure here.

What dream is it you have stirring in your heart? Start chasing after it! Get on your knees and pray about it. Put your head down, do the hard work. Find your people to rally around you. I believe in you, sis! I’m here to cheer you on!

Xo,

JamieLee

PS — if you’re interested in looking at the enrolling side of oils (aka making monaaaay) let me know and I’ll get you added to our business group on Facebook where we talk and teach more about it!

Ideas to Boho Up Your Bedroom

I almost went to the store 3 times yesterday because I had an idea for what I wanted our bedroom to look like. Spent time on Pinterest going over my options…the usual. As I was getting ready to leave I heard my Mama’s voice in my head, “Check around the house with what you have before buying something else!”

We were always moving things around our home growing up. Adding change to your home brings a sense of refreshing. I brought that habit with me into my adulthood. Our couch has been in every possible corner in our living room trying to make it cozier. It used to drive my hubby crazy…but he’s learning to love it. ha!

So, I set down my keys and went downstairs to look at some things we had in the basement, where we don’t spend that much time. I looked at Dj’s Didjeridoo with new eyes! Oh….it’s so pretty and earthy!

I went to my closet and found my green hat I wear often, ohhh…I would love a touch of green in the bedroom!

A gift sweet gift from my friend she brought back from the Sea of Galilee. Beautiful wood medals from DJ’s 50 and 100 mile bike races the past two summers.

I took my favorite plant in our living room and moved it into our bedroom, ahhh…much better there. Plus, it makes me think of my Grandma because it’s from her funeral.

Sometimes all it takes is to decide to see your items through a different lens to see the possibilities! My dream boho-bedroom came to fruition without spending $1. Hawt dawg!

I’m an aspiring minimalist. Do I even know what it means? Not really. But basically I want to be thankful for every item in our home and have everything have a purpose, one step at a time.

Hope this inspires you!

Let us never forget…the best way to cozy up any space is adding a diffuser. It gives all the boho-hygge vibes, cleans the air, sets the mood and makes your room smells amazing.

Sneaky Little Lies

Your career doesn’t *have to* be your biggest passion.
Your passion doesn’t *have to* bring in your paycheck.
Your worth *is not* defined by your paycheck.
Your identity *is not* found in your actions.
Striving *does not* have a finish line.
Your value *is not* found in others view of you.
Your body *does not* need to weigh a certain number for you to be AND FEEL beautiful. 
Happiness *does not* have a $ sign attached to it.

These are truths I’ve been speaking into the lies I’ve believed. Sneaky little lies that are covered in half-truths.
How amazing if you LOVE your job and it’s a passion of yours — but how quickly than can become your identity.
Who are you apart from your titles?
This is a question I’ve been asking myself.

It’s hard for me to believe that I could sit on the couch and be just and loved by God as if I started a non-profit ministry. 

These are the things my soul has been searching for, the questions that only have One answer.
It’s a journey, not a destination. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
God doesn’t care about your titles. Do you believe that? He cares that you understand the depth of His love for you (even just a glimpse, because His love is something we can’t fully comprehend on this earth). 
His outstretched arms, always. 
The rest found in His presence, anytime.
It’s a relationship with God, not a title for Him.

xo,
JamieLee

He Provides

“He makes grass grow for the cattle,

and plants for people to cultivate—

bringing forth food from the earth:

wine that gladdens human hearts,

oil to make their faces shine,

and bread that sustains their hearts.”

Psalm 104

A lie I believed for far too long was this: God won’t provide for me. 

If I did believe that He would provide, it was for a split moment and the moment that lead up to it was because of something I did to “achieve” what I received. 

I was challenged to combat this lie every morning with verses from The Word the prove it false. 

Every morning I took my thoughts captive and fought my lie with His Truths. For 40 days.

I believe it all the way down in my bones know…He provides for me.

Little did I know this months ago, that today we would all be living in a season where we have to trust He will provide is some of the most tangible ways: money to pay our bills, food on the table, Joy in the chaos. 

But here’s the thing about all that’s uncomfortable right now… we ALWAYS have to trust He will provide for us. Our current circumstances are highlighting that truth. But my prayer for all of us is that we will carry what we are learning in this storm when the calm comes. 

Do you see Him providing for you, right now?

Do you feel His Joy?

7 Things to do Today to Embrace Slow Living + Intentionality

It has been so apparent to me these past few months that people didn’t always live the way we are living right now. That might sound like a “um, Duh JamieLee” comment, but think about it. Until just recently, people didn’t have a computer in their pocket buzzing at all times, people didn’t sit in front of a computer screen for 8+ hours a day working, people didn’t feel the sadness of a strangers tragedy (because they simply didn’t know about it), people went to work and came home to be with their families, a job was a job and not their whole identity. Now days, everything is so so intertwined with one another it is hard to find where one things begins and the other ends. We try so hard to shape what we desire out lives to look like, but if we aren’t careful, are we shaping our lives or is something shaping us?

The first thing to do is to be aware. Jesus says something like this in the Bible too, “Take every thought captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5). How can we take out thoughts captive if we aren’t even aware of what our thoughts and habits are turning us into?

I am by no means perfect. This life is a journey and it is a guarantee that we are going to mess up. But, what I think is the scariest thing is most of us are not aware of the habits we are creating in our life and what they are doing to us and our relationships.

Be aware. Be present. Let love into every inch of your life.

These are a few practices I have implemented daily in my life, truly, they have been life-changing. When I am diligent in these practices, my mind is quieter and I feel the peace, down deep in my bones that I believe we are all searching for.

1. Eat without distractions.

   DJ and I have been turning our phones off every night and I don’t turn my phone back on until Dj leaves for work around 9am. I wake up, have my own quiet time, and have breakfast all before stepping into the mess of the world.

   I believe this should be a practice for every meal, for many reasons, but here are two main ones. One, you taste every bite and enjoy your food so much more and are more aware of when you are full. Two, you are presently aware of the gift of food on your table.

   Start with not bringing out your phone when you have lunch. If you work from home, turn on your favorite music and listen to every word. If you work around people, sit with your friends, or maybe even someone new, and learn something about them.

2. When you talk with someone, place your phone out of sight.

   I’m talking, anytime. From a quick meeting of a co-worker in the hall way, to a coffee date with a friend, to when your spouse gets home from work. Just think about it, I am sure we have all been in a situation where you are with someone you were excited to spend time with but every few minutes they pull out their phones to check what the buzzing was—did you feel loved, understood and like you were important to them in that moment?

3. Put away 3 things that have been “bothering you”.

   There are soooo many studies for how a clean home/working space translates to a clear mind/peace. If you’re bored, spend your time wisely and go down the deep hole of the internet reading the studies! It’s fascinating. Also, two words: Marie Kondo. There is a reason her methods have taken the world by storm. Along with tiny home living and minimalism. Slowly, we are starting to figure it out. If every time you walk by something in your home it “bothers you”, maybe you could first ask yourself he question— “If it’s bothering me this much, why do I even have it?”

   Straighten out your desk. Organize a junk drawer. Put away the clothes in your room that have been in a pile for a week. After you did it, take a moment to soak in that feeling afterwards.

4. Take 5 minutes two focus on your breath.

   When I get going on my work-train I could sit in one place for 6+ hours without even realizing how much time has passed. Some might say that is awesome, but I say, no…my booty and my back hurt, my feet are numb and I have a headache from staring at my computer screen. ha! When you feel yourself going down that road, or when you have little pockets of time in between your days — in between projects, driving in your car, walking to the next meeting — take 5 minutes to just focus on your breath. This can be sitting, standing, or moving, but in this time focus on feeling your belly and chest rise and fall with each breath, listening to the sound, when you feel thoughts come to your mind that are filled with anxiety, gently push them aside like a vapor, giving yourself grace, and coming back to your breath and the present moment.

5. When you think of someone, reach out to them and let them know you did.

   It doesn’t have to be anything crazy. If someone from high school came to mind that you haven’t talked to in years but you still follow each other on social media, reach out to them and let them know you were reminded of how kind they were then and hoping they are doing well now. If it’s a friend, call them or text them a kind thought you thought about them. Or maaaaybeee even bringing it way back and writing someone happy mail! Isn't it the best to get something in the mail that isn’t a bill? It makes my whole week when I get a hand written note from someone who cares about me.

6. When working on a project on your computer, keep only the ONE tab open that you are working on.

   Have you seen that meme going around with all the tabs open on the computer and it says something like “this is what my brain looks like”. It is funny! But it’s also true. When you are working on a project, close all other tabs, especially tabs that do not pertain to that project. Because yes, you may not loooook at the Facebook tab that is open but when you see the notification come up, are you telling me you didn’t go sneak a peak?

7. Turn your phone off for one hour.

   Like I stated in the first one, DJ and I turn out phones off every night. We are in a season of figuring out our phone boundaries—that may sound funny but I think it is truly something all of us need to be doing. I’ve heard it explained as “parenting your phone'“, you turn it off at night, wake up before it and not turning it on until you’re ready for the day, turning it off for an hour in the afternoon to give it its “nap”. We have only been doing this for a few weeks and it’s already SO freeing. I feel my addiction to my phone lessening and my anxious thoughts becoming less and less.

   Maybe durning this time you can take a walk outside to refresh, run an errand without your phone, or simply just work without the distractions of buzzing for an hour. It will be different for everyone, find what brings you peace.

If all seven of these seem overwhelming, start with one and take note of how you feel. We are in a high-speed hustle culture, going against the “norm” isn’t always easy-peasy. Your friends may not even understand it. However, I think if we are all honest with ourselves, we are all searching for more peace in our daily lives. Maybe it’s a lot closer than we think.

Praying this is helpful for you. Reach out and let me know if you tried any of these! Maybe even share this article with a friend, you’re more likely to stick to something if you have people cheering you on and being able to confide in one another.

It's All a Practice

I used to be sooo self-conscious —Never being the least bit confident in who I was. It’s hard to look people in the eyes when you don’t know who you are. 

In college, I felt it in my gut I’d love teaching yoga, so I got certified. I started teaching morning classes and I hated it because ironically, I didn’t think about how a room full of eyes would be staring at me. Me—the young women who could barely look at herself in the mirror. 

It wasn’t so much about my looks and not feeling like I looked beautiful, although that is that story for so many of us women. It was more so about how I had no idea who I was. I was a lost mess in college, being tossed around by the wind and the waves, never feeling grounded. 

It followed me into my adult years. If I wanted healthy relationships with others and myself, I had to start dealing with all the things that were bubbling up inside of me. I had to stop, get quiet and listen to what my body was telling me. 

Most people couldn’t tell that by looking at me, I held it all in. The war I’ve been fighting with my identity has always been an internal battle. Like a duck on the water, I would look cool, calm and collected on the outside, but deep down I was fluttering my feet, kicking so hard, trying to find some ground and not drown. 

From my yoga practice, I’m taking what I’ve learned on my mat over the years out into the rest of the world and feel is trickling to all parts of my life. On the mat, I allow myself space to be quiet. Time to focus on my breath and feel my chest and belly rise and fall, with each breath I feel a little bit more like the version of JamieLee I want to be. 

I got in front of the class last night for the first time in a long time. I got home and I started thinking about the then-JamieLee and the now-JamieLee. Not that one is better or worse than, but how the now-JamieLee has so many things I wish the then-JamieLee knew. That encouraging others to take a deep breath every once in awhile was something I so desperately  needed for myself. 

All aspects of this life are a practice. Somedays, we’re going rock a pose we’ve been working on and somedays we may face plant it. What I’m finding is, it’s all beautiful, as long as I get back up and try again.

Just because I am the one in the front of the room sometimes doesn’t mean I know anymore about yoga or life than the next person, we are constantly learning from everyone around us…if we dare approach it that way. That’s what I wish then-JamieLee knew, that I didn’t have to figure it all out before I took the next step. 

Take a deep breath, feel your chest rise and fall, allow yourself to be in the moment and let the rest drift away. 

xo,
JamieLee Joy

Prayer Map

This past weekend, DJ and I watched the movie War Room. It is a movie about prayer that was made years ago, but I had just recently heard about it. You know how it goes, for some reason Christian movies are most oftentimes a little cheesy. Which is crazy by the way, because the ultimate creator of the universe created us to be creators, we should be making the most beautiful creations! Right? Anyway, that’s not the point here.

I watched the movie and it stirred something inside of me, lit a fire in my soul and made me want to pray more than I had been. I wanted to pray with power, consistency and surrender. The movie was primarily about how the prayers and grace of a wife helped her husband surrender to God and ultimately, God brought their family back together. It was such a beautiful display showing how when we pray, things change and God moves. The wife took out all of her clothes in her closet and turned it into her prayer closet. On the wall she put prayers, verses and all the ways she wanted God’s help, learning how to surrender everything into His hands.

I started to get this picture in my mind — a Prayer Map. I had seen people make these kind of maps for goals they wish to accomplish, but I had not ever seen something like that to put your prayers down on paper and keep track of how God moves. I have always been someone who journals, so when I take the time to go back and look at my prayer journals, I see how God has moved in my life over the years. But I had never written in down my prayers in such a way that it was something I looked at daily and prayed over continually, making a point to write down and remember when and what He answered about my prayers.

I thought back to a time when I had been praying in circles—inspired by the book The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. I had been praying for a few specific things in my life, such as: starting our second location for Mighty Missouri Coffee Co., a house to buy and community to surround us, among other things. What was so cool is this: I was literally walking in a circle, from our old house, around a path by our house, and back home. In the circle, in under a year, we opened our second location for the coffee shop inside the Bismarck YMCA along that path, we bought a house that I walked by daily and we have a beautiful community of friends, most who live very close to the circle…GOD MOVED. In huge ways. I may not have noticed it and been so aware the way I was if I wasn’t keeping track of the circles I was praying.

The next day after watching the movie I went to my office and typed out all the prayers that I say over and over again in my head and my heart. I found verses to support what I was praying for, truth to drown out the lies and prayed about what God wanted to speak to me about through His Word. I taped them all up on a wall in my office and every morning I stand in front of my prayer wall and surrender to Him. Throughout the day, when I feel my anxiety rising up, I go to my prayer wall and pray the prayers out loud, speak the verses out loud until my soul and spirit believe it. Friends, His Peace always comes rushing in. It’s often said that prayer isn’t about what God can do for you, but what God does in you and through you when you surrender to him. It’s not about our power, but His power working in us. Some of the prayers on my prayer wall may not be answered for years, some may be answered tomorrow, some may not get answered in the way I expect them to. But I can promise you this, God will move in your heart and in your life. He is always moving. Think of the things that He can do through us, if we start paying attention!

I designed these to be printed out in poster size—so you can hang them on your wall, write big and bold prayers in them, tape verses all around and see your prayers in a tangible, beautiful way. The whole popped into my mind when I read this verse:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7)

THE PRAYER MAP

• Center—the center is Jesus and our relationship with Him. When we first come to him, we ask for forgiveness and repent before Him because in repentance we receive His refreshing. (Acts 3:19) Then, we thank him for all that he is doing in our lives (we rejoice always). Rejoice how He died for us! Rejoice how He loves us and made a way for us to talk to him! We give thanks in all circumstances, because this is His will for us. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

• Requests # (1, 2, 3, etc.) — This is the format for how I lay out my requests, per the Philippians verse. I really want to make clear here, this format of prayer brought peace to my mind and helped me make prayer more tangible. I do not in anyway think there is a “right” or a “wrong” way to pray. He is always interceding for us and He hears us no matter how we speak to Him! This helps MY brain and helps me see how he has been working in my life — it doesn’t make the prayer “more powerful”. My prayer is that it would help others feel God and see God move in their lives in more tangible ways.

  • THANKSGIVING — By prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God. Postering our heart in thankfulness before anything else. If you are praying for your husband, for example, thank him for the gift of marriage, for giving us such a beautiful display for His love for us, for getting someone experience this life with, etc.

  • REQUEST — present your request to God. God knows the desires of your heart, he knows every hair on your head and every breath that you take, but more than this, He wants relationship with you. Think of it as cuddling up into your loving Fathers lap and telling him about your day, all that you hope will happen, all that you are thinking and dreaming about, God loves just spending time with us and hearing from us. He loves when we ask him. (Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives….Matthew 7:7-8)

  • REBUKE — Ephesians 6: 10-18 tells us that our battle is not again flesh and blood but against spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly realms. There is a battle going on for our minds until we are fully restored. Satan cannot have us once we have declared Christ as our Savior, however, we are still in a battle. Ephesians also talks about putting on the full armor of God. In this, I always tell Satan that He is not welcome here in this space, in my heart, in my home or in my life—I tell him that I am onto him and I won’t fall for his schemes because I know Who my strength comes from. I like reminding him that he doesn’t have control over me or my loved ones. ;)

  • LAY IT DOWN — In Luke 10: 41-42 is the story of Martha and Mary. Martha was frustrated because she was working really hard and asked if the Lord even cared that her sister wasn’t helping her, instead, Mary was sitting at the Lord’s feet and listening to what he said (v. 39). Jesus reminded Martha that she is worried about many things but there is only one thing needed—to sit at His feet. Lay your requests down before the Lord, entrusting your life into His loving care. Sit at His feet. Listen for His whispers.

Here is visual example of what the Prayer Map looks like. See above for a more detailed description. A digital download can be printed by clicking the link below!

ANSWERED PRAYERS

When we pray, God answers. Hallelujah, right?! Like I said before, it may take longer than expected or be answered in ways that we didn’t expect—but if we aren’t keeping track, how will we know? I designed this to be printed out and hung somewhere in your home that you see often. Add to it whenever God answered one of your prayers, big or small, and remind yourself of his faithfulness!

This was designed to be printed out and filled in with your answered prayers! A digital download can be printed by clicking the link below!

These designed were hand drawn by me—if you would like to have your own prayer map printed and hanging in your home, I would be honored! Click the link above to shop on my Etsy account and get your own DIGITAL DOWNLOAD to print out and get started right now!

I can’t wait to hear all the stories from how the Lord is blessing your requests as you lay them down at His feet.

xo,

JamieLee

The Last One

This is a big one. Feels a lot like “The Last One” on Friends. Many tears, fears, thoughts and a mix of emotions. Really, I have so much I could say but it’s hard to find the words. It feels a lot life grief. But I think that’s because it is. It’s the letting go of something we worked so hard for, letting go of the dream we built. BUT we are moving on with hope and peace. Just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

For now, I will leave you with what I put on my social media this morning:

-The Last One-
Our coffee shops have been such an unexpected adventure from day one. From two kids dreaming big, reaching out, taking steps and moving home to make it a reality. Wow, what a ride! 
God’s hand has been in the midst of it all. Every step. Every decision. His ways are often times mysterious to us, but one thing for sure is they are always good. 
This season, God is teaching us how to let go…
The Kramers are stepping out of Mighty Mo.

DON’T FEAR, Mighty Missouri Coffee Co. isn’t going anywhere. We know that Brian and the team are going to grow and take it places! What an absolute honor it has been serving Bismarck-Mandan the best coffee in the world for the last 3.5 years. 

There are SO many things that this biz taught us. We embraced this season with everything that we had. Every moment, every hardship, every growing pain, every victory. One of the biggest lesson we’re taking away is every season is so precious. Looking back, you can see all the good shining through all the hard.

We are stepping away knowing that with God all of our dreams can become a reality. We are stepping away trusting Him, believing in Him deeper because we have seen Him work in such mysterious, tangible ways. 

As for what’s next for us you’re wondering? Yeah, we are too. 😉
What we do know is God is good and He designs our plans, we’re just along for the glorious ride. He’s the one who creates the universe with just one breath, He is the one we are trusting in and waiting expectantly for the next whisper. 

Brian, we cannot wait to see the way God works through you. You are strong, wise and passionate. What an honor it has been to walk beside you these last 3.5 years. 
Mighty Mo fam, we love you more than we can say. It has been such an honor to be a part of your lives, to lead you and teach you what we were learning. You taught us more than you’ll ever know. 
To all our friends, family and our dear customers who have supported us by purchasing coffee, praying with us, trying our recipes, spending time around the bar with us and believing in us….thank you. We are taking you with us wherever we go. 

We are grateful, thankful, and so so so very blessed. 
Cheers, 
The Kramers

Work from Rest not Work to Rest

A theme + truth that has been stewing around in my mind and heart lately is how we work from rest not working to rest.

Have you thought of it that way before? In our culture it is really easy to work until we drop. Actually, we get praised for it. If you work 40 hours a week or less, somehow that has turned into the abnormal thing. It has become a habit of many to work 50+ hours a week all in the name of “hustle”. Now, don’t get me wrong here. I am preaching to myself and am currently in the middle of figuring this out. I think people can take this to an extreme either way, working way too little or working way too much. But just like the rest of our life, it’s about balance. And everyones scale for balance is different.

Ultimately it us up to you and God to choose was is best for your daily, weekly and monthly rhythms. God created us and wired each of us differently. It is only you and Him who can decide what looks right for you. But I am here to give you permission to ask the questions. To do your research. To allow yourself to rest. To say you can allow yourself time to “be” in your life and now always just “do”.

Let’s chat about some of the big themes that have been stewing around my mind with this concept.

Adam + Eve’s first full day of life was a day of rest. God created Adam and Eve on the 6th day and on the 7th day God rested (Genesis 1). God created the universe, the animals, the plants, the day, the night…he created and then he rested in His creation. We are all creators, we were made to create. But there is only One who is able to work and then rest.

God created the beginning of the day, our middle of the night, we start each day out of rest. I was listening to The Real Life Podcast by Jeff and Alyssa Bethke the other day and they talked about this. I had never thought about it that way! A new day starts at midnight, when I am fast asleep (and hopefully have been for hours). The day starts in the middle of the dark and we were created to rise as the sun is rising, bringing light as we join the day. How beautiful.

We were created to have a weekly sabbath, starting our week from rest. The seventh is when God rested. The seventh day for him, the first full day for Adam and Eve. Weekly sabbath is something DJ and I are still figuring out. It takes practice and patience and grace for yourself. Everyones sabbath will look differently—no technology, hang with friends, never leave your house, eat dinner in, eat dinner out, sabbath on a Monday, Friday or Sunday….it’s about what makes you feel rested, what works for you and your family, what makes you feel recharged and closer to God.

Last month DJ and I both read To Hell with the Hustle by Jeff Bethke. If any of what I am saying right now is ringing true in your heart, I highly suggest you get that book in your hands. It has sparked conversations and lit a fire in our souls. It is helping us answer the questions our hearts have been asking about what we want to create out life to look like.

My whole adult like has been about hustle. It has been about not ever feeling like “I’ve made it”, but with that confused with what I’m even running after. Can you relate? I believe it’s because we were created for something more. We weren’t created for “the grind”. We are here to work, yes. But for me, somewhere along the line, my life balance scale got skewed and I’m smack dab in the middle of a season of trying to figure out what that looks like for me. When what you DO becomes your identity, that’s when you have a problem (cough, me).

I know I’m not the only one who is feeling the burnout of the hustle life. I know I’m not because of the conversations I have had with many and the wave of books that are coming out of authors feeling the same nudges. But it’s more than a nudge for me right now. It’s a life change. It’s a surrender.

It’s laying it all down at His feet and asking Him what He wants me to do. Asking the questions and allowing myself time, the space and the grace to hear the answer.

I'm Starting to Notice a Pattern

I like to know the answers.

If there is a topic that interests me, I will go down a very long rabbit hole and learn everything I can about it (cough— oils, baking, cooking, yoga, coffee, writing, owning a business— cough).

So, when I don’t have a definite answer for something…it drives me bonkers. Truly. I need to go back and look step by step what I did wrong to make the bread not rise correctly. Or, if an oil helped me I need to dig into my textbooks and learn how that specific oil helped me in this specific way.

One of the biggest questions I could never “find the answer” to was, “Why did my brother have to die?”

It was a question that shaped my childhood really. It was the root of my sadness and my anger (and alllllll the emotions that come with losing someone dear to you). My little thirteen year old head could not wrap my mind around what it means when someone dies. Or how God lets things happen. Why does God let some things happen but save other people? I heard people talk about His Grace a lot…was our family not “good enough” for that kind of Grace?

This year I have been learning about how my beliefs are shaping my view of God. God is constant, He is steady and has never and will never change. My beliefs of this life, Him, eternal life, why things happen….those have all been shaped by my experiences and the things that I have learned from others along the way.

Now, I’m not going to go down the deep rabbit hole of a theological debate here. My point with all this is, I am a “feeler”, a super emotional gal. When I am feeling deeply it helps me to have an answer to what I am wrestling with. Even if I don’t like the answer. Can you relate?

If you’re into the enneagram, I am a 6. Learning more about the Enneagram and my number specifically has helped me give myself grace in those times where it feels like I am spiraling out of control in search of “the answer”. Sixes tend to reach out to everyone they love and trust to help them make a decision. (UM, YUP.) My mom and my besties are on speed dial. Or just ask my husband, I have to process everything out loud. And truly, sometimes if I am really emotional I need help just knowing where to go out for coffee or what shoes I should wear. When I am wrestling with something deep I do not have much other mental capacity for daily decisions.

I have blessed with some really awesome mentors in my life. We all need those people, the ones who know love you deeply but don’t always tell you what you want to hear—the truth.

Right now, my husband and I are making big decisions in our life. (Aka: the bigger the decision the more indecisive I get, yet the more I want the answer.) Whenever I reach out to one of my mentors and go for a walk or grab a coffee, I will have a question I want the answer to. Right now, they are big ones. Like, what am I supposed to do with my life?

Truly, I want someone to tell me the answer because I feel like that would be easier. Then I wouldn’t have to make the decision. Um…hello! That is a big thing to give someone else to hold the weight of.

But when I ask them, they gently remind me and guide me towards asking Holy Spirit.

Because, when you think about it, do you want someone with the worldly view telling you what to do (no matter how lovely they are) or do you want the God of the universe directing you and guiding you?

I think a lot of us go to the sources that are right in front of us. The people who’s voices are loudest. The ones who can give us the list of tangible advice that will supposedly get us from point a to point b.

But let’s think about this friend…

The God of the universe went to the cross so we will never have to be alone.

Say that out loud: The God of the universe went to the cross for me so I will never have to be alone.

That’s what “not knowing the answer” feels like to me…being alone.

But it’s a lie. The truth is….

The Holy Spirit will teach us everything. (John 14:26)

The Spirit comes to help us when we are weak. (Romans 8:26)

He is our Helper and will abide with us forever. (John 14:15)

He will guide us into all truth and will tell us of things yet to come! (John 16:7, 12-14)

The Holy Spirit is teaching us everything, even when we are weak because he is our helper and will guide us into all truth and things yet to come!

It’s kind of like when people say “Be careful what you pray for”. Because we may not always like the answer that He is giving us. And we are not going to understand what He is doing unless we sit at His feet and ask HIm. Maybe He isn’t withholding from us, maybe we just aren’t listening to what HE is saying. It is His truth that we need to cling to in times of chaos and confusion. When you start leaning into the relationship with Him more, it will only strengthen. Just like any earthly relationship—the more you spend time with Him, the more you will learn how to hear His voice.

What a blessing it has been that my mentors haven’t given me “the answer” I have been looking for, they have been teaching me how to run to the only One who can.

I Don't Have to Hurry, I Don't Have to Worry

Say Every Morning:
I’m not what I do.
I’m not what I have.
I’m not what people say about me.
I’m beloved by God.
It’s who I am.
No one can take it from me.
I don’t have to worry.
I don’t have to hurry.
I can trust my friend Jesus.
And share His love with the world.

I’ve been thinking a lot about affirmations. I used to think they were kind of “foo foo”. Then, the Lord brought 2 Corinthians 10:5 to mind. 
“And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
It’s not about trying to make things happen in your life.
It’s not about controlling the outcomes.
It’s about palms up, surrender.
Our minds are fickle. 
We need to remind ourselves every day, every hour, every minute Who’s we are and why we’re here.

(Affirmations from Jefferson Bethke)

3 Reasons You Need a Mentor

Having a mentor is something I have always highly valued in my life. Truly, the older I get I don’t think you can have too many mentors. Business mentor? Check. Faith mentor? Check. Health mentor? Check. You get the point. Any/all areas of your life would grow with someone speaking life and truth into it.

A pattern I am noticing in my life though, you have to actually fully open up to your mentor. They are not judging you. They are there to help you every step. And to help you to the best of their ability, you have to give them your best. Here’s a little visual for what it looks like to keep things hidden and not bring your best…

Picture this: a house full of garbage. Garbage eveeeerywhere. In the bathroom, in the bedroom, in the kitchen, on the couches in the living room, in the entry way as you walk in. Guess what comes with unattended garbage? Rats. Little garbage = little rats. Abundance of garbage = huge rats. And lots of them. You can keep trying to get rid of the rats one a time as you find them. But guess what rats do? Produce more rats. But let me tell you something…

All of the rat-business can be avoided if you would just get rid of your garbage. Throw. It. Out.

That’s what a mentor is there for. To help you sort through your garbage, get it out of your house and then clean the floor and show you how to not have it pile up like that again.

I have been through a (few years long) season of throwing out my garbage. And let me tell you, my friend….I FEEL SO FREE. The most free I have ever felt in my life. I have 3-5 mentors I call regularly (yeah, really). We are not meant to do this life alone. These people have held me as I cried, prayed over me, spoke Light into my fears and celebrated with me as they witnessed me overcome. There are so many things I could say about how much I believe you need at least one mentor in your life. But let me start with these three.

1) They will tell you what you need to hear not just what you want to hear.

Guys. I love my mom. She is my best friend and confidant. But guess what? When I call her and tell her how mean someone is being to me or how life is unfair….she agrees with me. She sides with me. She looks at the situation through my point of view and feels it as I feel it. That’s great and moms are the friggin’ best! But some days I need someone to tell me that perhaaaaps I am not the one who is “right” in the situation. Someone to suggest looking at the situation from a different point of view.

(Same with your sister, your best friend, your aunt….they’re biased towards you).

When you have the same mentor over years, they will start to see your patterns. They can suggest that maaaaybe you are reacting to a situation not because you’re mad but because you're afraid. They see how you have reacted under pressure before and can remind you of the Truth that brought you through last time and will again.

2) They are a few steps ahead of you on a similar path.

In marriage. In business. In motherhood. No matter the situation there is someone who has gone before you. There is someone you can call and say, “Um, hi…did you feel like (fill in the blank) when (fill in the blank) happened?” The power of their reply being “Oh my goodness, yes! You are not crazy!” Can mean the wooooorld when you are having a hard day. They can warn you what to look out for. Share with you how they rested so you don’t burn out. Remind you of your passions and why you are doing what you are doing. Share how God had answered their prayers in a similar situation. Sometimes, we just need to know that we are not the only ones feeling the way we are feeling.

3) Celebrate with you!

This one has to be one of my favorite reasons have a mentor. To be able to call them up and tell them, “God answered!!” To shoot them a text and share that you completed that project you’ve been working on for months. To meet up with them, go for a walk and talk through the way that they have seen God moving in your life, when you maybe didn’t see it for yourself. Having someone deeply walk with you in your sorrows and celebrate with you in your joys is True Life. Life to the full. Grace overflowing.

So, sister. Do you have a mentor? If not, I deeply encourage you to step out. Trust me, the “right” mentor will find you, you just need to start looking. If you do have a mentor, reach out and share with them today how much you appreciate them!

Do You Want to Get Well?

Hello, sorry, that is my face all up in your face (I’m not the beeest at technology). BUT this is a photo of pure bliss because it’s one of my first times NOT WEARING MAKE UP out in public!!! If you’ve dealt with acne, you know.

“I honestly don’t care if people think I am pretty.”
I said this to my mom as we were driving to get lunch last week. She had just told me that some of her friends told her how they think I’m pretty and have nice teeth (haha). I blurted it out. She looked at me somewhat surprised…she knows the younger version JamieLee….that JamieLee wanted that deeply to her core.

Or that’s what I thought I wanted.

Growing up, I had zero self-esteem. Like, zero. Someone would tell me they like my outfit or that my hair looked nice and the first thought I would have is…well, they are just saying that because they feel bad for me.

Since around 13 years old I always had acne that I was very self conscious about. As I got older, that acne reared it’s ugly head, along with anxiety and depression that was so heavy it felt like I was drowning. This was the major reason I rarely left my house in 2018.

Honestly, nothing anyone can say about my personality, my looks, my talents…none of those words matter unless I feel it myself.

I truly don’t care if people “think I’m pretty”. What I care about is that I feel beautiful, whole and loved.

And that feeling doesn’t come from an outside source.

When I was dealing with acne (well, I still am but not in this major way) I felt dirty. I felt uncomfortable. I felt like I lived in a sweatshirt that hasn’t been washed in months and I couldn’t take it off.
I felt like I had dirt all over my face, that no matter how much I scrubbed…it wouldn’t come off.

I felt like the leper.

I prayed and prayed and prayed and whenever I prayed I felt God whisper,

“I will heal you.”

For months. For years. Same prayer.
There was something much deeper that needed to be healed. This was more than about my appearance. More than about my comfort. This was about Jesus bringing life into the parts of myself I didn’t even know were dead. This was about true healing.

I prayed and didn’t think I was getting the answer.

When the truth is, He was ready to heal me the whole time. But it wasn’t until I was ready.

“When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?" (John 5)

Truth is, the sin/unresolved grief/sadness….that was a much bigger healing that needed to happen. When Jesus asked me if I wanted to get well, if I wanted to forgive, if I want to move on from that……my mouth may have said yes but my heart said no. My thoughts said no. My actions said no, no, no.

It wasn’t until I fully surrendered all that needed healing until Christ healed my acne.

And I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

Could Jesus have taken away my acne it one breath? Yes. He has the ability to change any situation in a moment.

It’s like going to the doctor to ask him to put stitches in your arm when your whole arm isn’t even attached to your body anymore.

He knows what will bring your true healing. He knows what will transform your heart. He knows how deep the pain is. He knows how dark the night is. He knows how heavy the weight is. He knows how long the loneliness is. He knows. He’s listening. He is willing.

Friend, do you want to get well?

Silent Night

Sometimes it hits you. Like a boulder to the stomach, like a rush of cold air, like a feather gently on your cheek….it gets you.

Grief sneaks up on you in the most unlikely places. One moment you can go from being dressed as an angel sharing the good news to children with eyes filled with wonder, to bawling in the back corner watching your tears hit the dirt floor.

“Silent night, holy night….”

I start signing along. At first, merrily with all the Christmas Spirit….and then is hits me. This time, it came like a light feather gently falling on my cheek. The memories, the moments start coming to the forefront of my mind, one sweet memory at a time. Growing up, it was a family tradition to go to the Christmas Eve service at my Grandparents church. We’d all line up in the wooden pews, shoulder to shoulder, dressed in our Christmas best, giggling with youthful wonder. We would sit in the top balcony, if we had a choice, it was the best view in the house. The sermon would start as we’d doodle on our church program, anxiously awaiting for when it was time to pass out the candles.

My favorite memories are the ones where both my brothers are beside me. They’d tease me squeeze me and make me yell for mom…but when the candles came out it was like the whole world paused.

“All is calm, all is bright…..”

It was in those moments that little girl JamieLee started to understand what God’s peace was. A peace that makes everything else stand still.

As the years passed, the people in the pews changed.

The Christmas after my brother Kyle died, I remember sitting in the pew, not so merrily…

“Glories stream from Heaven afar

Heavenly hosts sing alleluia…”

The candles passed out, I stared at the flame. What is Kyle doing in Heaven? I could feel the warmth of the glow, I could feel the Peace trying to rise up inside me.

A few years after that, Grandpa went too.

“Sleep in Heavenly peace, oh…”

We kept going to Christmas service. We held on as a family, life doesn't stop even though your world does.

In the barn as I was singing…Grandma’s smile comes to mind now. Two Christmas’ without her here. No more Christmas’ in the church pew…

The people in the pews change, the pews change, but their love never leave us. Every time I sing, every time I stare at the flame, they are with me. I felt their love that night in the barn. I allowed myself to let the tears come, where we are broken is where the Light gets in.

We are human, created for love and for relationships. When what you are created for gets stripped from your very grasp….it is going to hurt.

But what is the most beautiful thing?

“Holy infant so tender and mild…”

The little babe. The infant in the manger, Lord at thy birth.

He was the same God in the manger, He is the same God now. The very meaning of love, the only reason there is love…coming down to Earth to set us free.

You can’t have love without pain.

Christ showed us that.

But the pain should not for one moment keep us from the love.

Christ showed us that, too.

As I cried in the back of the barn….I closed my eyes and let myself feel both sides—love and pain. How is it that a little babe born in a manger came to rescue us?

Only Love.

Grace in Abundance

I’ve been on a record for a “writers block” streak.

But you know what I’ve been learning about lately? Grace.

Grace to let my body + mind + soul REST. Truly rest. Let myself feel emotions and have thoughts without writing it out, tweaking it and making it pretty. Having grace to be REAL with myself. Real with God. Real with my community when I was struggling.

Sometimes you have so many feelings + emotions that are stuck in your head + your heart its hard to find the words to get it out. And that’s okay.

I feel it though, the words coming back.

I feel the hope starting to rise & spilling out through my finger tips onto the key board.

Life is messy. But, friend, life is meant to be LIVED. It’s okay to rest, it’s okay to take an hour, a day a week, a month…to do something that fills you up. Give yourself the same grace you give others, somedays give yourself more.

Simple. Simple. Simple. That’s the word i’ve been comparing everything to lately. Will that opportunity ADD to my life? Will going to that place bring me JOY or am I doing it because I feel like I’m letting others down if I don’t? Will speaking the turret even when it’s hard in the moment HELP in the long run?

Life can be simple if grace is abundant.

Rosemary

Have you ever touched something that made you stop in your tracks, felt something with your whole heart, smelt something that changed the way you see the world, did something that made you think THIS is me? Something that made you think; this way I feel, the way I reacted, the way I felt peace in that moment— this is the person I want to be.

Rosemary is something that is so grounding to me.
When I’m cooking in my kitchen, talking to God, letting my bread rise, stirring the veggies on my stove—rosemary is in most every meal.

When I’m getting my hands and knees dirty in my garden, my soul is getting clean as I tend to my rosemary. 
When I cut off a fresh sprig, let the aroma fill my lungs, fill my soul—I can take a deep breath. A breath of peace.

Rosemary changed me. 
Rosemary taught me how to be present. 
How to quiet my mind, get out of my head and live life in the moment.
It’s funny, how God uses something so simple. How an herb makes me stop right in my tracks and feel the presence of God.

When life is overwhelming, when my emotions get a hold of my thoughts—I find Gods promises there in my rosemary—to remind me to either get on my knees or get to my kitchen. 
To stop looking for happiness like it’s my only life quest. 
It’s in these moments with God—the most tender moments that He whispers His promises and love over me. 
It reminds me that there will be seasons of sowing—dirty hands, ugly thoughts being let out, seasons of needing to forgive others & to forgive myself.

But the HOPE is His promise that there will be seasons of harvest. The sun will rise again, the sowing, the digging, the rawness...it will make something beautiful.

More.

I want to love more. Invite people into my heart more. Invite people into my home more. To give more. To receive more. To laugh more. To grieve with others more. To carry others burdens more. To celebrate more. To embrace more. To share my burdens with others more.
This life is meant to be lived, together. 
Through sorrow and through the joy.

I read today a depiction of the bridegroom the way I’ve never seen it before. 
The way the groom looks at his bride walking down the aisle is the way Jesus is looking at His bride.
Eyes locked, no one in the room besides the two of you. Walking down the aisle with so much excitement for the future. Believing that there is no one more beautiful. Promising forever together, no matter what.

I read this today and I paused in amazement as I had just left such a beautiful wedding, wow...THAT is the way Christ sees us? He is standing there, tears in his eyes with joy overflowing that He gets to spend a lifetime with someone so beautiful. 
As we gathered around tables filled with ones we loved, as we watched in amazement as the room changed from purple to blue to green. As we heard people share their hearts as they share their daughter, their son, their friend. As we marveled at how something so cute and sweet can make us smile from ear to ear with just one bite.

This is what is all about. The messy, the hurt, the insecurities...washed away by something much more beautiful.

Create if for No Other Reason but to Create

When I was going to school for art, somewhere in the midst of it all I lost my passion. 
Getting judged + graded for something you pour your heart and soul into...younger JamieLee could get crushed with one comment.

When I decided to take a different path, I didn’t pick up a paintbrush or a pen for a long time. When I timidly did, I judged every stroke I made—tore it a part with perfectionism. 
My passion for art is coming back. Picking up my pen this morning, memories started flooding in. I haven’t cranked up my music, sat down and got lost in my creative bliss for soooo long. Hello, old friend. 
The older I get, the more I realize what creating it all about.
It about giving people a peek into your soul, with no fear of judgment. We are all on our own path, we see things our own way and that is okay.
It’s about getting it outside your body, your mind, your heart. It’s the pictures, the words, the sound that wouldn’t exist in this world if you weren’t brave enough to let it out. 
It’s about freeing yourself—letting go of your own judgment, you, your harshest critic. And only listening to the opinions that matter.

So what if the lines not straight, the color isn’t quite how you pictured it, the meal has a different flavor, you spelled a word wrong, the song has a different sound...it’s your heart on paper, on a plate, on a canvas, being heard, tasted and seen by others.

It’s okay if others don’t understand it. It’s okay if you don’t understand it yourself. Create, if for the only reason is to create.

Inhale Peace, Exhale Power

Yesterday DJ and I were kayaking up stream. At the beginning I was thinking, “Oh boy, this is going to be hard”. But as we kept paddling…I started to become very aware of my weakness. There were boats and jet skis all around us adding to the chaos and the wind was not in our favor. As I was paddling I started relating my current situation to my life. A little too vividly at times as flash backs of playing on the river with Kyle and being on our boat, going to our house with a family and home that is no longer ours.

Losing Kyle at such a young age affected my view of the world for awhile, the pain of losing him affected my view of God. I had no idea how He was going to turn our mourning into dancing, no idea how I would ever feel peace again.

At my weakest point on this kayak experience, tears welling up in my eyes, wanting to stop but knowing I couldn’t because I would just get pushed back to where I began, I felt God’s whisper: peace and power.

Right hand pull; inhale peace. Left hand push; exhale power. Peace, power, peace power on repeat in my mind. In the same moment, same experience, same breath, experiencing two opposite emotions.

The other day I was asked what are the two most important things having Kyle as an older brother taught me. I paused, never have been asked that question before. Memories of Kyle teaching me how to reverse, shoot a free throw and stand up for myself come flooding in. Moments that seem a lifetime ago and yesterday all at the same time. Kyle taught me how to be strong & powerful.

 Kayaking yesterday was a perfect depiction of what grief has been like the past 13 years. I am in my little boat, trying to go upstream all in my own power. There are people passing by me, enjoying life with no worries, making my journey worse at times. There are moments where I thought I was doing great and then looked to my side to see that I literally hadn’t moved at all. When I stopped doing it on my own, when I asked for help, when I let DJ guide me…that is when I started getting somewhere.

DJ paddles to me and gently says, “I’m sorry this sucks. Come over to this side, the current is better. Stay right behind me, I want you close to me.”

With grief, there are no answers. Most times you just have to hold on tight and ride through the pain. There will be detours, people who make it worse and people who make it better, but the most important thing is to listen to Him lovingly calling you, “Stay close to me, I will show you the calm waters. Stay close,  I want you right behind me.”

Inhale peace, exhale power. 

Lean Into the Pain

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."

Psalm 34:18

There they come again, the deep aches of grief. The loud silence of the absence of the one you love. The hot tears running down your cheeks. The question of how could you have changed this? The confusion of why are they gone too soon?

These are not comfortable feelings and thoughts. Pain and grief are never comfortable. It is our human nature to want to pull in, away from the world. To want to go silent, keep to ourselves all the thoughts we not dare say aloud. 

Trying to do it on your own. Depending on your own strength. Keeping the thoughts of pain an anger to yourself in fear that it will hurt someone else. No mentioning their name, even though you are constantly thinking of them. I've done all this, it doesn't work. 

"Everything happens for a reason," someone tells you out of love, trying to give you comfort. 

We've all heard it. And sure, at face value it is true. But someone telling you that your brother died for a reason, that your mom was taken from you too soon, that you didn't get to watch your daughter grow up and living all your life never finding out what "the reason" is? Those words don't help the pain. 

So we run from it. We numb it. We distract ourselves. 

Yet, the loving voice of God says that he is close to us. He is there to comfort us, he has rescued us.

Some answers we will never know this side of Heaven. Our pain may have to be our cross the rest of our days, but find comfort because we are not carrying it alone. 

I don't know why you lost your job. I don't know why your son died too young. I don't know why your dad has cancer or why your mom lost her best friend. 

I don't know what your struggling with today, but Jesus does. He is withy you, always. He is with you and loving you through you anger, through your pain and through your doubt. He loves you and hates to see you hurting, that is what I do know. 

He is so close. He has rescued you. There will come a day where he will wipe away every tear. There will be no more mourning, crying or pain (Rev. 21:4) . There will come a day when you find out your answer, but for now trust in the One who holds it. 

Lean into the pain, on the other side is peace.