It has been so apparent to me these past few months that people didn’t always live the way we are living right now. That might sound like a “um, Duh JamieLee” comment, but think about it. Until just recently, people didn’t have a computer in their pocket buzzing at all times, people didn’t sit in front of a computer screen for 8+ hours a day working, people didn’t feel the sadness of a strangers tragedy (because they simply didn’t know about it), people went to work and came home to be with their families, a job was a job and not their whole identity. Now days, everything is so so intertwined with one another it is hard to find where one things begins and the other ends. We try so hard to shape what we desire out lives to look like, but if we aren’t careful, are we shaping our lives or is something shaping us?
The first thing to do is to be aware. Jesus says something like this in the Bible too, “Take every thought captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5). How can we take out thoughts captive if we aren’t even aware of what our thoughts and habits are turning us into?
I am by no means perfect. This life is a journey and it is a guarantee that we are going to mess up. But, what I think is the scariest thing is most of us are not aware of the habits we are creating in our life and what they are doing to us and our relationships.
Be aware. Be present. Let love into every inch of your life.
These are a few practices I have implemented daily in my life, truly, they have been life-changing. When I am diligent in these practices, my mind is quieter and I feel the peace, down deep in my bones that I believe we are all searching for.
Eat without distractions.
DJ and I have been turning our phones off every night and I don’t turn my phone back on until Dj leaves for work around 9am. I wake up, have my own quiet time, and have breakfast all before stepping into the mess of the world.
I believe this should be a practice for every meal, for many reasons, but here are two main ones. One, you taste every bite and enjoy your food so much more and are more aware of when you are full. Two, you are presently aware of the gift of food on your table.
Start with not bringing out your phone when you have lunch. If you work from home, turn on your favorite music and listen to every word. If you work around people, sit with your friends, or maybe even someone new, and learn something about them.
When you talk with someone, place your phone out of sight.
I’m talking, anytime. From a quick meeting of a co-worker in the hall way, to a coffee date with a friend, to when your spouse gets home from work. Just think about it, I am sure we have all been in a situation where you are with someone you were excited to spend time with but every few minutes they pull out their phones to check what the buzzing was—did you feel loved, understood and like you were important to them in that moment?
Put away 3 things that have been “bothering you”.
There are soooo many studies for how a clean home/working space translates to a clear mind/peace. If you’re bored, spend your time wisely and go down the deep hole of the internet reading the studies! It’s fascinating. Also, two words: Marie Kondo. There is a reason her methods have taken the world by storm. Along with tiny home living and minimalism. Slowly, we are starting to figure it out. If every time you walk by something in your home it “bothers you”, maybe you could first ask yourself he question— “If it’s bothering me this much, why do I even have it?”
Straighten out your desk. Organize a junk drawer. Put away the clothes in your room that have been in a pile for a week. After you did it, take a moment to soak in that feeling afterwards.
Take 5 minutes two focus on your breath.
When I get going on my work-train I could sit in one place for 6+ hours without even realizing how much time has passed. Some might say that is awesome, but I say, no…my booty and my back hurt, my feet are numb and I have a headache from staring at my computer screen. ha! When you feel yourself going down that road, or when you have little pockets of time in between your days — in between projects, driving in your car, walking to the next meeting — take 5 minutes to just focus on your breath. This can be sitting, standing, or moving, but in this time focus on feeling your belly and chest rise and fall with each breath, listening to the sound, when you feel thoughts come to your mind that are filled with anxiety, gently push them aside like a vapor, giving yourself grace, and coming back to your breath and the present moment.
When you think of someone, reach out to them and let them know you did.
It doesn’t have to be anything crazy. If someone from high school came to mind that you haven’t talked to in years but you still follow each other on social media, reach out to them and let them know you were reminded of how kind they were then and hoping they are doing well now. If it’s a friend, call them or text them a kind thought you thought about them. Or maaaaybeee even bringing it way back and writing someone happy mail! Isn't it the best to get something in the mail that isn’t a bill? It makes my whole week when I get a hand written note from someone who cares about me.
When working on a project on your computer, keep only the ONE tab open that you are working on.
Have you seen that meme going around with all the tabs open on the computer and it says something like “this is what my brain looks like”. It is funny! But it’s also true. When you are working on a project, close all other tabs, especially tabs that do not pertain to that project. Because yes, you may not loooook at the Facebook tab that is open but when you see the notification come up, are you telling me you didn’t go sneak a peak?
Turn your phone off for one hour.
Like I stated in the first one, DJ and I turn out phones off every night. We are in a season of figuring out our phone boundaries—that may sound funny but I think it is truly something all of us need to be doing. I’ve heard it explained as “parenting your phone'“, you turn it off at night, wake up before it and not turning it on until you’re ready for the day, turning it off for an hour in the afternoon to give it its “nap”. We have only been doing this for a few weeks and it’s already SO freeing. I feel my addiction to my phone lessening and my anxious thoughts becoming less and less.
Maybe durning this time you can take a walk outside to refresh, run an errand without your phone, or simply just work without the distractions of buzzing for an hour. It will be different for everyone, find what brings you peace.
If all seven of these seem overwhelming, start with one and take note of how you feel. We are in a high-speed hustle culture, going against the “norm” isn’t always easy-peasy. Your friends may not even understand it. However, I think if we are all honest with ourselves, we are all searching for more peace in our daily lives. Maybe it’s a lot closer than we think.
Praying this is helpful for you. Reach out and let me know if you tried any of these! Maybe even share this article with a friend, you’re more likely to stick to something if you have people cheering you on and being able to confide in one another.