His Love Never Wavered

"The thief does not come except to steal, and kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep."

Isaiah 43:2

I spent much of my childhood being mad at God. I heard people talk about how He was good and faithful and how he cares for us, but I could not comprehend how any of that was true when he took my brother from me. 

My brother died when I was thirteen. Losing him really messed up my relationship with God for awhile. I wanted to believe that He was good and He wanted the best for me, but my belief was clouded with so much pain. 

You cannot put a time limit on a grieving heart, and what I am finding out is it will always hurt. There is healing in the midst of the pain, however, you have to learn how to let people walk through the pain with you to find it. Most of my grief I tried to walk in it alone. I tried to figure it out between me and God, asking questions but not getting the answers (or maybe I was just not liking the answers I was getting). God's grace is what kept me living through that time, but he also designed us to be in community with one another. Me trying to do it all on my own was not working well. 

When I got married to my sweet husband DJ is when I truly realized I had to start talking. I had to talk about the pain I was feeling and invite people into the dark corners of my heart. I had to believe DJ when he told me he loved me even though I thought and felt the things I was feeling and could not love myself.

DJ never wavered in his love for me. Through DJ's love I have realized that this is the way God has felt about me my whole life. No matter how mad I was at Him for taking away my brother. No matter how much I turned my back on Him for allowing certain things to happen to me. No matter how much I wandered and tried to go my own way...His love never wavered for me and it never will. 

Like a sheep, I was prone to wander. There were, and still are, seasons after losing my brother that feel long and dark. Seasons where I feel like I am out in the field, all alone looking for my way home. 

But the Lord is our good shepherd. He is our home. He will go to the ends of the earth, the depths of the fields, the corners of the dark forest just to find you. He loves you regardless of your thoughts, his love has never wavered for you and it never will. 

Oils + Emotions

I have experienced deep healing by using essential oils to process my grief and trauma. 

For those of you who don't know me, or haven't ventured far on my page, my older brother passed away when I was 13. More of my heart with that can be found in other post on my page, or I would love to connect with you if you have more questions.

The point of this blog is this: I have found deep healing processing my grief with using essential oils and I want you to find healing too. Essential oils can be used in so many ways. If you haven't gone through grief yet, they can help you process your emotions. Emotions can be overwhelming, I have found that using essential oils helps me navigate them with a more gentle approach.

The more I read and researched about how essential oils work with emotions, I couldn't stop. It was fascinating to me. I wanted to share what I have learned so far. 

What is emotion? Emotion is a conscious mental reaction (such as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as a strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by a physiological and behavioral changes in the body.

Emotions have a positive and negative side. What happens when we stuff negative emotions? They are held in the body at a cellular level and eventually produce physical or emotional pain.

What exactly are essential oils? An essential oil is an aromatic, volatile liquid that is within many shrubs, flowers, trees, roots, bushes, and seeds and is extracted through steam distillation. It is the “lifeblood” of the plant, meaning when the plant is torn or scraped, it releases essential oils to repair the damages!

This explanation of how essential oils work helped it make sense to me:
Essential oil molecules are the same size or smaller than the molecules are bodies are made up of. They can penetrate our cell membranes and work within our bodies to repair damages and make the cells healthy again! Because essential Oils are made up of hundreds of constituents, each oil can have many effects on our body. Each oil has so many uses!

Young Living sets the highest standards to get these amazing essential oils into our homes. They have the Seed to Seal promise, assuring that there is nothing but goodness in these bottles. Check out more info on that here:https://www.youngliving.com/en_US/discover/seed-to-seal. 
Young Living products are truly pure and therapeutic, we are confident using these products in our homes, on our skin and in our bodies.

Essential oils can do amazing things. We encourage you to research, ask questions, and explore! Essential oils are fun but they are also powerful (in the best way).
I cannot stress enough the importance of using the highest quality oils on and around your body. Young Living products are a product you can trust because of quality ingredients and their seed to seal promise.

Essential oils are anywhere from 100 to 10,000 times more concentrated than the solid form of the plant and can cross the blood-brain barrier and stimulate the limbic system. When the limbic system is engaged in this way it can release negative emotional patterns and allows for reprogramming positive messages and associations.

Whenever these memories and feelings arise that are either positive or negative, they are stored in the Limbic System of the brain. Two parts of the Limbic System that play a major role in this are the Amygdala and the Hippocampus. Both the Amygdala and Hippocampus are located less than and inch from the olfactory (sense of smell).

Essential oils have something called sesquiterpenes that help to increase the oxygen in the limbic system which will “unlock” the DNA and allows emotional baggage ro be released from cellular memory.

Whenever I smell fresh baked bread I go directly back to my Grandparents house watching my Grandma knead dough and take the fresh loaves out of the oven. What is a scent that takes you back to a certain time in your life?

The sense of smell is the only one of the five sense that is directly linked to the limbic lobe of the brain (the emotional control center). Anxiety, depression, anger and joy all emanate from this region. 
The Limbic System is our “Emotional Brain”, this controls stress, memory, mood, etc. The Limbic System also works with our endocrine system (helps with hormone regulation) and our autonomic nervous system (our “fight or flight” response), as well as gastrointestinal function, heart rate, body temperature and sexual arousal.

So, every time you are feeling an emotion, your whole body is effected. Isn’t that crazy?!

The Amygdala is only affected by scent. In the amygdala emotions and memories of life are stored. Since essential oils have the ability to cross the blood-brain barrier and stimulate the amygdala, buried feelings such as past trauma, emotional upset and unhappy memories can be released and brought to the surface of awareness. When these things are realized, this emotional pattern will dim or may even completely disappear. FREEDOM.

Smelling a certain scent can change your brain pattern. When you smell scent and feel happy, you’re not just making that up! Scent directly affects your brain.

Once you smell something, the hippocampus is engaged. Once the hippocampus is engaged, it sends strong emotional signals that travel all throughout the body. Spreading into the digestive system, heart, penetrating at the cellular level and “unlocking” the DNA and allowing the emotional baggage to be released from cellular memory.

Let’s set those emotions free so we can be free, amen!?

Some (of many) oils that are good for emotions:

Frankincense

Frankincense is known as the “holy anointing oil” and is well known in biblical history for anointing and for it’s healing powers. 
Frankincense has compounds that have been studied extensively and aid in the rewiring of DNA.
This oil is deeply relaxing. Diffuse it during yoga, smell it when you’re feeling stressed, hold it next to you as you take a few deep breaths.

Common uses: anxiety, depression, fear, grief, peace, stress

Lemon

Lemon can help improve memory. This one is definitely a mood booster! This oil is invigorating, enhancing and warming. 

Diffuse it in the morning, add it to your daily water, open the bottle when you feel sad.

Common uses: sadness, regret, concentration, depression, fatigue

Peppermint

Peppermint as been studied for its ability to directly affect the brain’s satiety center (the ventromedial nucleus of the hypothalamus), which triggers a sensation of fullness after meals. This one is a great one to grab if you are an emotional eater (hello, chocolate) and see if your emotions are in check before you eat the whole Hershey bar.

Peppermint is great for those days where you can't wake up, but you need to wake up (physically and emotionally). One sniff of this baby and you're on your way (out the door or to digging a little deeper into what your emotion is telling you).

Common uses: fatigue, memory/concentration, stress headaches

Lavender

Lavender is calming, relaxing and balancing. Lavender has been proven to help concentration and focus. 
The University of Miami researchers found that inhalation of lavender oil increased beta waves in the brain, suggesting heightened relaxation. It also reduced depression and improved cognitive performance (Diego MA, et al. 1998).

Common uses: abandonment, fear, anxiety, irritability, stress, grief

 

We Are Starting to Pay Attention

When I bought my Premium Starter Kit from Young Living I had no idea how much those little bottles were going to change our life.
I started to realize how much better I felt. 
I started to realize how much gunk we were putting in our bodies.
How reaching for my Panaway instead of ibuprofen helped me.
How reaching for my DiGize instead of Tums helped me.
How these little bottles helped me feel better AND I knew what was in them. 
It was a perspective shift.
Now we think twice with product we bring into our home and into our bodies. We think about how it will effect us.
It's not an all at once thing, it's a one step at a time thing.
I looked at the ingredients in my face wash, googled them, and switched.
I looked at the ingredients in our toothpaste, googled it, and switched.
I looked at the ingredients in our laundry detergent, googled it, and switched. 
I looked at the ingredients in my makeup, googled it, and switched.
I looked at more natural ways to help with my hormones, with my mood, with my allergies...
You get the picture. 
I say that these products can change your life because I know that these products have changed my life.

God knows what he's doing, down to the last drop. Essential Oils aren't a new thing, we're just starting to pay attention.

He Invites Me to Eat at His Table

"The King, who is full of goodness and mercy, doesn't punish me. Rather, He embraces me lovingly and invites me to eat at His table. He serves me Himself and gives me the keys to His treasury, treating me as His favorite. He converses with me without mentioning either my sins or His forgiveness. My former habits are seemingly forgotten. Although I beg Him to do whatever He wishes with me, He does nothing but caress me. This is what being in His holy presence is like."
The Practice of the Presence of God//Brother Lawrence

Prayers & Hot Air Balloons

I love how when you write something down, that piece of paper holds that moment of time. Holds that prayer, that dream, that hurt, that grief.
I love how you can look back on things you've written and see who you were then compared to who you are now.
I love looking back and seeing the prayers that you had, how and when they were answered.

A prayer of mine was to ride in a hot air balloon. I watched them sore over my dads house at sunrise and sunset in the summer time. The breeze pushing them along. Conditions had to be perfect or else they couldn't fly.


I found this picture today of DJ and I on our honeymoon.
It reminded me, again, of how faithful God is. 


He hears your prayers. All of them. 


He listens to you when you are 10 years old and praying to ride in a hot air balloon.
He didn't answer the prayer in my timing.
No, it was more perfect than I could have planned. 


He answered my over-a-decade ago prayer like this:
I got to ride in a hot air balloon, in New Zealand at sunrise, with my husband.
Grace, overflowing. 

He hears your prayers. He wants you to trust in His ways. His ways are better than you could ever imagine.

Take A Step, He Provides For You

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.”

James 1:5-7

I’m an entrepreneur. To some people that looks like a glamorous life. A life where you don’t have to go to work if you don’t want to. A life where you can take vacation whenever you want. A life where you are making a lot of money. In some cases, that may be true. But in other cases, that means some days (or months) you are not getting paid, some days you have to go to work because no one else is there, some days you have to do the dirty work because you’re the only one at the time, or sometimes you have to go to work at midnight because there was a summer storm that took our your power and turned off all the refrigerators.

There is a lot of trust that has to happen when you're living this way of life. You read "give us this day our daily bread" quite literally some days. 

But this is not my point.

What I am learning about life is this: you step, God provides.

It is like a dance.

You take a step, God provides for you.

You take a step, God provides for you.

You take a step, God provides for you.

You’re not going to see the providing until you step.

It is like when you buy an item from a store, you are not going to see what it is really like until you purchase it, bring it home and see what happens when you take it out of the box.

You just have to trust and take a step. I know we have heard it before, but maybe this time we will hear it a little clearer.

I am taking this dance into other aspects of my life outside of business, too.

We took an apartment where the rent was stretching, God provided for us. We put an offer in on a house, he provided for us. We started a coffee shop, he provided for us. We reconciled the relationship, he provided for us. The steps get bigger, He still provides. That is what He wants to tell us.

You step, I provide.

You step, I provide.

You step, I provide.

He wants us to trust Him with everything. He wants us to be wise, He wants us to look to Him for our wisdom, strength and encouragement.

He wants us to look at Him as our only source of strength. Not look at our bank accounts, our parents, what the world is saying or what the statistics say.

We can use those things as tools, but we should not trust in them. We should trust in Him. We should trust that the impossible is just his regular, everyday task. That He delights in making our dreams a reality because they are His dreams too.

He delights in us.

He loves us.

He loves us regardless of if we open the business or not. He loves us if we take the step or step backwards instead.

But the thing is, when we step, we have to trust. We have to believe and not doubt. We have to pray without ceasing. We have to look at every moment of the journey, every step, every thought of a step, as a delight.

Even the moments when you are crying because you do not know what you’re doing. The moments when the bank account does not line up. Because, man, it works when it is God's will. God works through your situation, He works through you. The moments where the trust is more stretching than the comfort zone, His faithfulness is displayed all the more.

Outside that comfort zone is where you are going to find Him. Outside that comfort zone is where you will find your strength, your courage and your wisdom.

 Outside your comfort zone is where you are going to find that He always provides for you.

Lavender Chamomile Tea

I made this Lavender & Chamomile Tea the other night, knocked me right out. Like, passed out on the couch dreaming and not knowing where I am when I woke up, kind of sleep.
It's calming. It smells amazing. It's delicious.

Simple rituals give me the most joy sometimes.

Ending the day with a warm drink in my hands. Sitting in the coziest spot in our home, feeling the warmth of the mug on the hands and the warmth of the drink as it goes down to my belly and soothes me. 

I am convince there is something more going on than just liquid going down your throat. It's a spiritual moment, if you let it be. It is a moment to pause, let the world and your mind be still and rest.

Feel the warmth, notice how the pausing makes you yearn for more: more quiet, more refreshing.

Put on your pj's, grab your favorite mug and take a seat, friends.

Serves 2
3 cups milk of choice (we use almond or oat)
2 tablespoons chamomile blossoms
2 tablespoons lavender (you could also add a drop of Lavender Vitality essential oil)
Honey to taste

In a small pot, bring milk to a gentle boil.
Remove from heat, add chamomile and lavender. Let rest for 4-5 minutes. Strain and enjoy!

Refining Rich

We ended 2017 quiet, slow and restful. A launching pad for my vision for 2018: more rest, less striving.

We cooked slow, delicious meals. We felt the warmth of the sun on our face. We rested, gave each other the Raindrop Technique, and listened to our bodies. We felt the dirt on our skin and smelt the fresh air in our hair when we came inside at night. We woke up as the sun was rising and paused to enjoy the sun setting at night.

We sat down with each cup of coffee in the morning, felt the warmth of it in our hands and the warmth as we drank it. Took deep breaths, let our mind rest.

I want this year to be more about rest, but that does not mean out lives are slowing down. Quite the opposite, actually. It is about being intentional in the everyday moments. Listening to your body, God and to others. Listening and loving.

I found a prayer of mine I wrote last spring today. This is what it said:

May 22nd, 2017

“That the Lord would daily refine what our definition of rich is. To have a rich life, in family, friends, faith and food. To have daily bread. To depend on Him. To be rich in love and live a life that is whole. To have our health be one of our biggest treasures. To sit at the table, invite others in and enjoy the normal mercies of life. To taste good food, to taste of a good God and to be refreshed.”

Amen.

You Go Before me

“You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!”

Psalm 139:5-6

It seems like everyone this time of year is talking about their goals for the new year. Often I hear things like: eat healthy, work out, save more money, etc.

What if we were less focused on our outward appearance and possessions and more focused on our relationship with God and how God wants us to love others?

If our goals looked more like: more love, more peace, more patience, more gentleness, more kindness and more self control.

Don’t get me wrong here, take care of that body of yours. Eat healthy, get moving and know where your money is going. But take heart that those things are not the things that define us. Let us be aware of what and who we are putting first in our life and in our hearts.

Would it be challenging for us to have goals that were more outwardly focused? Goals that looked more like: invite someone over to dinner once a week, be more patient with so-and-so at work, listen when we hear God’s whisper to go talk to a stranger. What would our life look like if we made what the world says quiet enough to hear every whisper of God? He is always speaking to us.

May our wonderful Father give you glimpses of the things he has in store for you this year. May you find peace and contentment for being right in this moment of time. May you trust him with your whole heart for every answered and unanswered prayer that was whispered last year. May you lean into His whispers of promises and shouts of love.

He has such great things in store for our lives, too wonderful for us to understand if He were to tell us in this moment! I pray you search for him in the mundane, in the routines and in the chores. I pray that you lean into the moments of uncertainty with full confidence in Who holds your tomorrows.

Poor in Spirit

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”….?

That verse always confused me. Honestly, I would skip over it when I would read through Matthew because it would get me so confused. 

Poor in spirit.

What does that even mean? I understood poor. I understood spirit. But putting those two words in the same sentence was like putting carmelized onions on top of my chocolate cake. The concept of both, easily understood separately. Both have their time, both have their season. Reading that verse made me feel like I took a big bite of my caramelized onion chocolate cake dessert…unpleasant and did not like the taste it left in my mouth.

Until today. 

Until today, I found freedom in this verse.

This past weekend my husband and I went to a marriage confence at our church. It was amazing. Many, many things from that conference we will take with us as we journey through our lives. However, two of the topics he talked about really got my attention.

1. Describing body, soul and spirit like this;

Body: the world around us

Soul: the world within us

Spirit: the world above us.

2. Meek: yielding my personal rights and expectations with the desire to serve.

I had been letting these concepts toss around in my mind and in my heart since I heard them. Feeling that the “light bulb” was dimly turning on…

And than came my devotional today. In it is a quote from John Calvin. Typed in beautiful italics across the center of the page, first thing I read;

“He only who is reduced to nothing in himself, and relies on the mercy of God, is poor in spirit.”

I have to rely on the mercy of God.
And than Rebecca Faires puts it like this:

“Strength and power insulate us, too—all these things give us the illusion that we are in control. But the “poor in spirit” are those who have no power; they are the demoralized, the dejected. They can be fiscally poor, or lonely, or rejected; but regardless, they have lost all hope of finding power in themselves.”

Oh…me controlling my life is just an illusion…

The poor in spirit lose hope in finding power in themselves.

The power comes from the Spirit who is above us! (Light bulb)
Poor in spirit — have nothing.

Nothingness = the illusion that we are in control.

Which being poor in spirit enables us to rely wholly on God.
(You know the point in the movies where someone goes up to the front of the class and writes a really long answer to a problem that takes them so much time where the music cues in…that’s me right now. Along with the Rocky soundtrack.)


God is so cool! Confusing sometimes…but I’m learning more and more that it’s me, the one that is doing the confuse-ing. Things may seem backwards and upside down when trying to look at this world in Heavenly terms. But how amazing is it that God gives us glimpses of the whole picture. 

He gives us His spirit to comfort our souls as we live in our earthly bodies.
I pray that you find freedom in this too. That, together, we lift our hands and surrender our control to the only one who deserves it.

“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”

Matthew 5:5

*Karl Elkins is the lifestyle counselin coach who was the amazing speaker at our marriage conference. Find more info start here: Karl Elkins 

*My devotional can be found here: She Reads Truth

Bacon & Toast

Most of my childhood memories are from my Grandma and Grandpa Lee’s house. I absolutely loved going to my grandparent’s house. The smell of a campfire takes me back to their living room, the days of believing in Santa and waiting for him to come down the chimney. I loved helping my Grandpa stoke the fire.

Puff, puff, stir, crackle, crackle.

There were a lot of us that fit into their two-bedroom ranch style home. Whenever it was bedtime you couldn’t see the floor, because all of us kids were sleeping everywhere. They had a lovely sunroom that us cousins would fight over to see who got the pull out couch. I actually don’t ever remember winning that fight. But that’s okay, my perk was right in front of the fireplace, listening to the crackle and letting the embers sing me to sleep like a lullaby.

Every morning during our visits I would wake up to the voices of my family and their laughter. I would stumble my way into the kitchen, grandmas quilt wrapped around me, to the smell of bacon and toast. I’d go and skootch my way up to the counter, stepping up onto the step stool to the sight of toast piled high, like a bread balancing act and a big plate of bacon. Oh… the smell of bacon.

The toast would be buttered but I would add more, with a little peanut butter on top of that. Some mornings there would be scrambled eggs, sausage or orange juice to accompany this feast. But I secretly loved the main course of bacon and toast.

The toast was always made with grandmas homemade bread. I swear you could taste the love.

I say my grandmothers really are the ones who taught me how to cook. Both, with their love of food and wanting to deeply nourish their families.

When I got to the age of asking Grandma Lee how to make her famous caramel rolls, bread, donuts and orange rolls… she never could give me a recipe. We would make it, together, and whenever I asked how much of the ingredient her answer would always be,

“Until it feels right.”

That’s my favorite way to bake. Looking at the recipe as general guidelines to be followed. Never hesitating to add a little more or a little less flour, usually depending on the weather. Going by texture and taste not by numbers.

Every time I smell bacon and eat peanut butter toast, I get this overwhelming joy. Like a soul-hug. My mind goes right back to those sweet moments. I close my eyes and picture Grandma standing at the stove, cooking for her army. I see all my cousins bopping around the house, playing outside in their big yard, running down to the swing-set grandpa built.

I never knew back then that the smell of bacon could make me tear up. Even writing this, it’s happening. I loved those days. I am so thankful for my family who cared about me, who fed me, who loved me, who fought with me, who laughed with me, who taught me so much, maybe without even knowing it. My family who taught me how to love, how to nourish other’s bellies and souls.

Thank you Grandma and Grandpa Lee. For starting this family years ago. For loving all eight of your children and never running out of that love and letting it overflow into your grandchildren and great grandchildren. For feeding the army that overtook your homes floors all those weekends and all those holidays.

Let’s toast to the love that flows through the generations, the families that love you through all stages of this life and, to bacon.

 

When they landed, they saw a fire burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread…Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.”

John 21:9,12