Listening to Your Body

Lately, I’ve been trying to listen to my body more. Tune into my emotions and see how I am truly feeling. When I am hungry, leaning into what would be nutritious for me in that moment. Comfort food has taken on a new form for me. To me, comfort food doesn’t necessarily mean food that is terrible for me, a bunch of carbs and a cheesy pizza.

When I am feeling emotionally overwhelmed, I know that I could use something warming. When my stomach is feeling upset, I know eating a few roasted sweet potatoes and ginger will help it calm down. Not to mention the act of simply getting into my kitchen to cook a nutritious meal for DJ and I, that in itself is grounding.

Last night I was feeling all sorts of feelings (like the rest of the world right now). I was sick to my stomach… head was spinning. I sat on the floor, touched my belly and listened. Breathed. Put some grounding essential oils over my heart. Came back to the moment. Came back to my life right in front of me. Prayed. Surrendered.

Then, I got up, headed to my kitchen and made this.

Now, this type of recipe may drive some of you crazy. I didn’t measure anything, not once. I love stepping into my kitchen and allowing myself to be creative. To sprinkle a spice, take a bite and see what needs to change. I want to be more like this in my everyday life. That’s also what I love about Congee. It is forgiving and delicious and is good basically anyway you make it. I encourage you to allow yourself to step into your kitchen and let it be.

Basic Congee:

+1/2 Cup Rice (we like Jasmine)

+Water filled about 2 inches above rice

+1 inch fresh ginger sliced

+1 T. coconut oil

Put all ingredients in a medium sauce pan and bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer and allow to cook for about 45 min. Until rice is opened and mushy.

You can make congee so many ways. We make this all the time when my stomach needs a reset (it’s really easy to digest). You can add fruit and maple syrup with a dash of cinnamon on top for a breakfast, or make it savory! Here’s what we did last night:

+Ground 1 Ib. turkey and spiced it up with chili powder and paprika

+Sliced sweet potatoes and baked them in our air fryer

+Made a few eggs to put on top

+Topped with fresh thinly sliced green onions and a drizzle of sriracha

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His Love Never Wavered

"The thief does not come except to steal, and kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep."

Isaiah 43:2

I spent much of my childhood being mad at God. I heard people talk about how He was good and faithful and how he cares for us, but I could not comprehend how any of that was true when he took my brother from me. 

My brother died when I was thirteen. Losing him really messed up my relationship with God for awhile. I wanted to believe that He was good and He wanted the best for me, but my belief was clouded with so much pain. 

You cannot put a time limit on a grieving heart, and what I am finding out is it will always hurt. There is healing in the midst of the pain, however, you have to learn how to let people walk through the pain with you to find it. Most of my grief I tried to walk in it alone. I tried to figure it out between me and God, asking questions but not getting the answers (or maybe I was just not liking the answers I was getting). God's grace is what kept me living through that time, but he also designed us to be in community with one another. Me trying to do it all on my own was not working well. 

When I got married to my sweet husband DJ is when I truly realized I had to start talking. I had to talk about the pain I was feeling and invite people into the dark corners of my heart. I had to believe DJ when he told me he loved me even though I thought and felt the things I was feeling and could not love myself.

DJ never wavered in his love for me. Through DJ's love I have realized that this is the way God has felt about me my whole life. No matter how mad I was at Him for taking away my brother. No matter how much I turned my back on Him for allowing certain things to happen to me. No matter how much I wandered and tried to go my own way...His love never wavered for me and it never will. 

Like a sheep, I was prone to wander. There were, and still are, seasons after losing my brother that feel long and dark. Seasons where I feel like I am out in the field, all alone looking for my way home. 

But the Lord is our good shepherd. He is our home. He will go to the ends of the earth, the depths of the fields, the corners of the dark forest just to find you. He loves you regardless of your thoughts, his love has never wavered for you and it never will. 

He Invites Me to Eat at His Table

"The King, who is full of goodness and mercy, doesn't punish me. Rather, He embraces me lovingly and invites me to eat at His table. He serves me Himself and gives me the keys to His treasury, treating me as His favorite. He converses with me without mentioning either my sins or His forgiveness. My former habits are seemingly forgotten. Although I beg Him to do whatever He wishes with me, He does nothing but caress me. This is what being in His holy presence is like."
The Practice of the Presence of God//Brother Lawrence

Prayers & Hot Air Balloons

I love how when you write something down, that piece of paper holds that moment of time. Holds that prayer, that dream, that hurt, that grief.
I love how you can look back on things you've written and see who you were then compared to who you are now.
I love looking back and seeing the prayers that you had, how and when they were answered.

A prayer of mine was to ride in a hot air balloon. I watched them sore over my dads house at sunrise and sunset in the summer time. The breeze pushing them along. Conditions had to be perfect or else they couldn't fly.


I found this picture today of DJ and I on our honeymoon.
It reminded me, again, of how faithful God is. 


He hears your prayers. All of them. 


He listens to you when you are 10 years old and praying to ride in a hot air balloon.
He didn't answer the prayer in my timing.
No, it was more perfect than I could have planned. 


He answered my over-a-decade ago prayer like this:
I got to ride in a hot air balloon, in New Zealand at sunrise, with my husband.
Grace, overflowing. 

He hears your prayers. He wants you to trust in His ways. His ways are better than you could ever imagine.

Take A Step, He Provides For You

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.”

James 1:5-7

I’m an entrepreneur. To some people that looks like a glamorous life. A life where you don’t have to go to work if you don’t want to. A life where you can take vacation whenever you want. A life where you are making a lot of money. In some cases, that may be true. But in other cases, that means some days (or months) you are not getting paid, some days you have to go to work because no one else is there, some days you have to do the dirty work because you’re the only one at the time, or sometimes you have to go to work at midnight because there was a summer storm that took our your power and turned off all the refrigerators.

There is a lot of trust that has to happen when you're living this way of life. You read "give us this day our daily bread" quite literally some days. 

But this is not my point.

What I am learning about life is this: you step, God provides.

It is like a dance.

You take a step, God provides for you.

You take a step, God provides for you.

You take a step, God provides for you.

You’re not going to see the providing until you step.

It is like when you buy an item from a store, you are not going to see what it is really like until you purchase it, bring it home and see what happens when you take it out of the box.

You just have to trust and take a step. I know we have heard it before, but maybe this time we will hear it a little clearer.

I am taking this dance into other aspects of my life outside of business, too.

We took an apartment where the rent was stretching, God provided for us. We put an offer in on a house, he provided for us. We started a coffee shop, he provided for us. We reconciled the relationship, he provided for us. The steps get bigger, He still provides. That is what He wants to tell us.

You step, I provide.

You step, I provide.

You step, I provide.

He wants us to trust Him with everything. He wants us to be wise, He wants us to look to Him for our wisdom, strength and encouragement.

He wants us to look at Him as our only source of strength. Not look at our bank accounts, our parents, what the world is saying or what the statistics say.

We can use those things as tools, but we should not trust in them. We should trust in Him. We should trust that the impossible is just his regular, everyday task. That He delights in making our dreams a reality because they are His dreams too.

He delights in us.

He loves us.

He loves us regardless of if we open the business or not. He loves us if we take the step or step backwards instead.

But the thing is, when we step, we have to trust. We have to believe and not doubt. We have to pray without ceasing. We have to look at every moment of the journey, every step, every thought of a step, as a delight.

Even the moments when you are crying because you do not know what you’re doing. The moments when the bank account does not line up. Because, man, it works when it is God's will. God works through your situation, He works through you. The moments where the trust is more stretching than the comfort zone, His faithfulness is displayed all the more.

Outside that comfort zone is where you are going to find Him. Outside that comfort zone is where you will find your strength, your courage and your wisdom.

 Outside your comfort zone is where you are going to find that He always provides for you.

Refining Rich

We ended 2017 quiet, slow and restful. A launching pad for my vision for 2018: more rest, less striving.

We cooked slow, delicious meals. We felt the warmth of the sun on our face. We rested, gave each other the Raindrop Technique, and listened to our bodies. We felt the dirt on our skin and smelt the fresh air in our hair when we came inside at night. We woke up as the sun was rising and paused to enjoy the sun setting at night.

We sat down with each cup of coffee in the morning, felt the warmth of it in our hands and the warmth as we drank it. Took deep breaths, let our mind rest.

I want this year to be more about rest, but that does not mean out lives are slowing down. Quite the opposite, actually. It is about being intentional in the everyday moments. Listening to your body, God and to others. Listening and loving.

I found a prayer of mine I wrote last spring today. This is what it said:

May 22nd, 2017

“That the Lord would daily refine what our definition of rich is. To have a rich life, in family, friends, faith and food. To have daily bread. To depend on Him. To be rich in love and live a life that is whole. To have our health be one of our biggest treasures. To sit at the table, invite others in and enjoy the normal mercies of life. To taste good food, to taste of a good God and to be refreshed.”

Amen.

You Go Before me

“You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!”

Psalm 139:5-6

It seems like everyone this time of year is talking about their goals for the new year. Often I hear things like: eat healthy, work out, save more money, etc.

What if we were less focused on our outward appearance and possessions and more focused on our relationship with God and how God wants us to love others?

If our goals looked more like: more love, more peace, more patience, more gentleness, more kindness and more self control.

Don’t get me wrong here, take care of that body of yours. Eat healthy, get moving and know where your money is going. But take heart that those things are not the things that define us. Let us be aware of what and who we are putting first in our life and in our hearts.

Would it be challenging for us to have goals that were more outwardly focused? Goals that looked more like: invite someone over to dinner once a week, be more patient with so-and-so at work, listen when we hear God’s whisper to go talk to a stranger. What would our life look like if we made what the world says quiet enough to hear every whisper of God? He is always speaking to us.

May our wonderful Father give you glimpses of the things he has in store for you this year. May you find peace and contentment for being right in this moment of time. May you trust him with your whole heart for every answered and unanswered prayer that was whispered last year. May you lean into His whispers of promises and shouts of love.

He has such great things in store for our lives, too wonderful for us to understand if He were to tell us in this moment! I pray you search for him in the mundane, in the routines and in the chores. I pray that you lean into the moments of uncertainty with full confidence in Who holds your tomorrows.

Poor in Spirit

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”….?

That verse always confused me. Honestly, I would skip over it when I would read through Matthew because it would get me so confused. 

Poor in spirit.

What does that even mean? I understood poor. I understood spirit. But putting those two words in the same sentence was like putting carmelized onions on top of my chocolate cake. The concept of both, easily understood separately. Both have their time, both have their season. Reading that verse made me feel like I took a big bite of my caramelized onion chocolate cake dessert…unpleasant and did not like the taste it left in my mouth.

Until today. 

Until today, I found freedom in this verse.

This past weekend my husband and I went to a marriage confence at our church. It was amazing. Many, many things from that conference we will take with us as we journey through our lives. However, two of the topics he talked about really got my attention.

1. Describing body, soul and spirit like this;

Body: the world around us

Soul: the world within us

Spirit: the world above us.

2. Meek: yielding my personal rights and expectations with the desire to serve.

I had been letting these concepts toss around in my mind and in my heart since I heard them. Feeling that the “light bulb” was dimly turning on…

And than came my devotional today. In it is a quote from John Calvin. Typed in beautiful italics across the center of the page, first thing I read;

“He only who is reduced to nothing in himself, and relies on the mercy of God, is poor in spirit.”

I have to rely on the mercy of God.
And than Rebecca Faires puts it like this:

“Strength and power insulate us, too—all these things give us the illusion that we are in control. But the “poor in spirit” are those who have no power; they are the demoralized, the dejected. They can be fiscally poor, or lonely, or rejected; but regardless, they have lost all hope of finding power in themselves.”

Oh…me controlling my life is just an illusion…

The poor in spirit lose hope in finding power in themselves.

The power comes from the Spirit who is above us! (Light bulb)
Poor in spirit — have nothing.

Nothingness = the illusion that we are in control.

Which being poor in spirit enables us to rely wholly on God.
(You know the point in the movies where someone goes up to the front of the class and writes a really long answer to a problem that takes them so much time where the music cues in…that’s me right now. Along with the Rocky soundtrack.)


God is so cool! Confusing sometimes…but I’m learning more and more that it’s me, the one that is doing the confuse-ing. Things may seem backwards and upside down when trying to look at this world in Heavenly terms. But how amazing is it that God gives us glimpses of the whole picture. 

He gives us His spirit to comfort our souls as we live in our earthly bodies.
I pray that you find freedom in this too. That, together, we lift our hands and surrender our control to the only one who deserves it.

“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”

Matthew 5:5

*Karl Elkins is the lifestyle counselin coach who was the amazing speaker at our marriage conference. Find more info start here: Karl Elkins 

*My devotional can be found here: She Reads Truth

Bacon & Toast

Most of my childhood memories are from my Grandma and Grandpa Lee’s house. I absolutely loved going to my grandparent’s house. The smell of a campfire takes me back to their living room, the days of believing in Santa and waiting for him to come down the chimney. I loved helping my Grandpa stoke the fire.

Puff, puff, stir, crackle, crackle.

There were a lot of us that fit into their two-bedroom ranch style home. Whenever it was bedtime you couldn’t see the floor, because all of us kids were sleeping everywhere. They had a lovely sunroom that us cousins would fight over to see who got the pull out couch. I actually don’t ever remember winning that fight. But that’s okay, my perk was right in front of the fireplace, listening to the crackle and letting the embers sing me to sleep like a lullaby.

Every morning during our visits I would wake up to the voices of my family and their laughter. I would stumble my way into the kitchen, grandmas quilt wrapped around me, to the smell of bacon and toast. I’d go and skootch my way up to the counter, stepping up onto the step stool to the sight of toast piled high, like a bread balancing act and a big plate of bacon. Oh… the smell of bacon.

The toast would be buttered but I would add more, with a little peanut butter on top of that. Some mornings there would be scrambled eggs, sausage or orange juice to accompany this feast. But I secretly loved the main course of bacon and toast.

The toast was always made with grandmas homemade bread. I swear you could taste the love.

I say my grandmothers really are the ones who taught me how to cook. Both, with their love of food and wanting to deeply nourish their families.

When I got to the age of asking Grandma Lee how to make her famous caramel rolls, bread, donuts and orange rolls… she never could give me a recipe. We would make it, together, and whenever I asked how much of the ingredient her answer would always be,

“Until it feels right.”

That’s my favorite way to bake. Looking at the recipe as general guidelines to be followed. Never hesitating to add a little more or a little less flour, usually depending on the weather. Going by texture and taste not by numbers.

Every time I smell bacon and eat peanut butter toast, I get this overwhelming joy. Like a soul-hug. My mind goes right back to those sweet moments. I close my eyes and picture Grandma standing at the stove, cooking for her army. I see all my cousins bopping around the house, playing outside in their big yard, running down to the swing-set grandpa built.

I never knew back then that the smell of bacon could make me tear up. Even writing this, it’s happening. I loved those days. I am so thankful for my family who cared about me, who fed me, who loved me, who fought with me, who laughed with me, who taught me so much, maybe without even knowing it. My family who taught me how to love, how to nourish other’s bellies and souls.

Thank you Grandma and Grandpa Lee. For starting this family years ago. For loving all eight of your children and never running out of that love and letting it overflow into your grandchildren and great grandchildren. For feeding the army that overtook your homes floors all those weekends and all those holidays.

Let’s toast to the love that flows through the generations, the families that love you through all stages of this life and, to bacon.

 

When they landed, they saw a fire burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread…Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.”

John 21:9,12