I found this in my bible this morning. I wrote it a few months ago as I was working through and processing some things with a trusted mentor and counselor. I felt the nudge to place it on the Internet today. Opening up can feel scary and vulnerable, but I want this little corner of the internet to always be raw and real. I want it to feel like you’re sitting down across the table and having coffee with a trusted friend. I want people to read my words and leave feeling refreshed, understood and capable of giving their best. My prayer is that you read these words and you overflow with hope.
”Thank you, hurried.
Thank you for showing me that ‘empty’ feeling in my gut reminding me it’s time to slow down. Thank you for being my needle on a compass pointing towards the way I don’t want to go. For showing me that when my ‘hurried feeling’ keeps rising, I have something to pay attention to in my heart. Thank you for showing me that I can do many things but reminding me that I don’t have to.
Goodbye, hurried.
You have been a long time family friend. Looking back, I can see you throughout every par of my childhood, and I have realized you followed me into adulthood, uninvited. You have taught me many things, but mostly that I do not want to live your way of life. Hurried is poison for my soul. It makes God’s voice grow dim, the last thing that I want.
The anxiety that I feel is a by-product of you, hurried, and is not a pretty trait. I’m saying goodbye to you now, and not looking back. Goodbye to the ugly feeling of never doing enough.
Hello peace + rest,
I always knew you were somewhere to be found, even if I didn’t quite know your name. I heard folklore about people opening Tim eight you, and you making a space in their heart and home. I love how when you are here my heart + belly feel like a calm sea — possibilities beautiful and vast, but to happen in due time, naturally. You cause a beautiful ripple effect in my life — once I invited you in I now want you in every room of my life. You are like the friend that everyone wants to spend time with.
My life looks + feels beautiful when I picture you in it. You fill my heart with hope for the future. When I am with you, my feelings of who I ‘have to be’ and what I ‘have to do’ fade away in the background and bring me to the present, beautiful moment. With you, there is no mirage of a future, just the here and now and quietness of my soul.
I am so glad you are here, peace and rest. Please teach me all your ways. Give me grace when I miss a step and guide me back home.”